“I have given up and cry in frustration at myself that I can’t remember things”

Anne Scott, Northern Ireland

Tonight I’m in the process of getting ready for a night out at a friends birthday party. This is my long-time best friend and even though i’m tired, dizzy and sore I want to celebrate with her. It’s that time of the evening when I’m very agitated I feel like screaming but I have to get ready even though I hate this part of the day. The bath is running but it’s not right, something is wrong. I can’t understand why the tub isn’t filling up. I’m really stressing out now. What is wrong with it? I wash as best as I can in a spittle of water not enjoying it one little bit. I continue to stare at the water not being able to work out what’s wrong. Why is the water still not getting higher? I think of the time again and decide to pull the plug and then I see it’s sitting right in front of me on the shelf where it always is. I’m running short of time now. I thought I had left out everything I needed out this morning but now I can’t find the clothes. I have searched and searched everywhere for them. I have to give up and wear something else as I’m going to be late and now on top of it all I can’t even buckle my own stupid shoe. This is so annoying, I really want to scream. My head is pounding from all the built up tension and I have a melt down. I have given up and cry in frustration at myself that I can’ remember things, can’t sleep properly and can’t seem to focus on what I need to do anymore.