Stephen explains what he has been told by his GP, and why it has hit him so hard.

Yeah, hi everybody.

Welcome to my 152nd video living with vascular dementia. Yeah, it’s been a strange week or so. I went to see a doctor to have an ECG and blood tests. The blood test came back negative but the ECG came back with maybe a problem with my heart. Not sure yet, cos the doctor asked me if I had heart failure which was a bit, yeah, worrying.

Then she said about a heart attack and I said I’m not sure, not really sure what a heart attack feels like. I had a lot of, well I suppose crushing pains. Short crushing pains in me chest, so maybe – I don’t know. I got to go somewhere to have an echo, ultrasound on me heart somewhere, I don’t know where it is, but. One of the hospitals I suppose.

Yeah, bit worrying but best to find out now than later on isn’t it, later on down the line. Yeah, it’s left me a little bit, I don’t know, numb, then? I guess? It does, it just makes you feel a bit numb, you know. It’s all a bit weird. I’ve had a hard job processing it like. And since then, since last Thursday I’ve been. I mean I’ve been short of breath before but in the last week or so I’ve been really bad.

Haven’t been able to talk on me laptop, it just saps all the energy out of me. I just got no energy for anything at the moment. So I’ll probably keep this video short, so you know. Yeah. It’s, I don’t know, I – I don’t know. I don’t know what to say about it really. It’s weird. It’s took me by storm I guess, taken me by surprise completely. I didn’t really, I didn’t really, wasn’t expecting it, put it that way.

Yeah, just wasn’t expecting it. And I guess, it’s sort of knocked me for six for a while and, you know, yeah I think it’s knocked me for six. Yeah, I have to try and be as positive as I possibly can be. You know, I got to stay as positive as I can be really, not get too het up about it because it’s there and I’ve got to have it sorted out. Yeah, hopefully it will get things sorted out. Hopefully.

The weather’s not too clever in Cornwall today, it’s all overcast and a bit rainy. I got to sit with me carer today. I was hoping it was going to be bright enough to go out but I don’t know, it’s all a bit ugh, bit damp at the minute. But never mind. It might get better directly after dinner. We’ll see. Yeah, we’ll see.

No, I was just – I don’t know, it’s just come top of me, I wasn’t ready, I just wasn’t ready for it, I just was not ready for it. I don’t know, can’t explain it really. It’s… it’s hit me like a freight train really I suppose you can say. It’s when she rung me and said have you had heart failure that really, that really made me think. It just altered my perception of everything from that time on. This week it’s just been so quiet with it, afraid to get riled up about anything which I don’t really do anyway, but I have to not be stressed about anything, and that’s what I’m trying to do, not get stressed about things.

It has helped, certainly. It’s what you got to do. But! I mean, the ultrasound might come back OK, you don’t know. The doctor said it’s possible I might got a blocked artery, possibly. We’ll find out anyway and I’ll let everyone know on here what happens. Hopefully, crossed fingers, it’s nothing too major. Hopefully anyway. You got to stay as positive as you can haven’t you. Through it all. It’s hard to deal with, but you know, it’s something you got to deal with, and with all the other stuff as well with the dementia and the COPD and everything, and the arthritis. It’s just another big worry isn’t it.

It’s just a lot going on, it’s a lot to cope with and I’m actually struggling to cope with it all at the minute. It’s all a bit, you know, it’s all a bit strange. And the pandemic and all that, it’s a lot to take on isn’t it. It’s a lot to take in, take on board, and yeah. But I’ll keep this video short today, and yeah, I’m starting to get breathless now, so. I’ll leave it for now and hopefully catch you all on the next one, and hopefully have a bit more news for everybody, so.

Take care everybody out there and look after yourselves and stay safe. Bye bye for now.