“A quality visit provides comfort to the person with dementia.”
– by Tommy Dunne
“Hi, it’s Tommy reporting. I’d like to talk to you about visiting a person with dementia, whether it be in their own home or in a care home.
Remember dementia is a disease and people have this diseases and one of the symptoms of this diseases is that people who have it find it hard to learn new information or remember things after a few minutes or in some cases remember past information. So treat every waking moment with the person with dementia as if it’s the first time, as it may feel like the first time they have met you. Every action, every place, every person they meet that day is new to them. Greet them with a smile, treat them like the friend they are and that you know. Tell them your name and why you were there.
People with dementia depend upon their emotions for survival. They will look at you for clues on how they should behave or respond. People with dementia will reflect back to you whatever emotions you are feeling. Smile, be calm and relaxed. Speak clearly and in small sentences and give them time to respond. Due to changes in the brain a person with dementia can only relate to what is in front of them now. Stimulate their senses to help them make connections to things, like smelling a flower, or holding a stone, or chewing on some cookies. Or if possible, go for a walk and talk about the things you can see or hear.
Watch for clues in the person with dementia to see if they are upset or whether you have stayed too long. Things to look for are tight fists, walking away from you, ignoring you, telling you to go, or pushing past you. It is hard not to take this personally, but they are trying to tell you that they are tired and need to rest. A person with dementia is only able to live in the moment. That is the only thing we can talk about at the time, the only thing we can see, hear or feel. So watch for tiredness, repeating conversations, irritability or just basically asking you to leave. A short visit is better than a long one, because everything we do is hard work for us.
Distraction is drawing our attention to something different, so if they become upset, draw their attention to something else. But you can not take things away from them without giving them something to replace it with.
So what makes a successful visit? Success is sharing experience with a person with dementia. Just having them know that they are not alone, and enjoying the moment of reality. Success is seeing them smile and knowing that your visit is leaving them in a good feeling. A quality visit provides comfort, support and reassurance to the person with dementia, and makes them feel loved, cared for and valued. A quality visit also provides comfort and reassurance to you, by confirming that you can still make a positive difference in your family member’s life.”
