“I don’t want to use the ‘s’ word…struggling”

I’ve been having a wee bit of up and down this week. I don’t want to use the ‘s’ word, struggling, because i’m trying to keep myself upbeat.

My daughter and I have noticed that i’m getting very impatient now and I want things done yesterday. I think it’s to do with living in a very busy world and environment – the noises round about us.

Do we really need to hear loud noise when we’re shopping? Is it really that important when i’m in the gym getting changed that we have the same loud, pounding music that they insist on having in the changing room? Is it really bad of me when I go to the reception and say ‘Look do you think you could turn the noise down, I’m finding it a struggle?’ All the young ones and the staff are looking at me as if i’ve got two heads – why would I not like loud music?

I don’t know anymore. In this society do we need to be bombarded with loud intrusive stuff? It’s just a thought. It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s that it’s so loud I cannot think, I cannot co-ordinate. I’m even staggering to the side. It just seems to take over my brain and I don’t know what i’m supposed to be doing.

Maybe I should stop saying I don’t like the music and say that it is distressing me. I must think about that. Maybe someone listening to this could give me some suggestions because it’s a big, big struggle.

Going for a meal, I don’t know if there’s a place in Glasgow where you can go for a nice lunch and not have noise and intrusion. If they keep up this loud music, I might not be able to go. When I spoke to the manager he said, ‘We don’t notice the music.’ If they don’t notice it, surely they could turn it down. It’s just a thought.

Dementia Diaries would like to thank Vanessa Smart for transcribing this report.