“Slowly, slowly you feel that you are losing the grip on yourself.”

Hello. You know, when you get dementia, initially you get very irritated with yourself. You’re feeling that you are letting yourself down. Especially if all you’re life you have been very methodical, very conscientious, not forgetting anything, and really, and put everything in order. So slowly, slowly you feel that you are losing the grip on yourself. That can be very, very irritating.

But there are some happy moments. Like yesterday, not yesterday, on Sunday, I went to see my daughter, and I go and see my grandchildren then. And they give me a lot of joy. I have two grandchildren from my son also, and they come here. I forget I have dementia and I forget that the world around me exists. I feel so happy, and time flies.

But, before I forget, I really want us Asians to be aware of dementia. I remember one incident when I was living in Malawi, and we had very close friends, they had a father-in-law, they brought him from India, who had dementia. That is what I remember now. That time, I’m talking about 20-30 years ago, that time dementia wasn’t on the radar so much. So I used to feel sorry for him, because he would be feeling as if he was insane. But he wasn’t insane, he was comfortable. But in order to drown his voice his daughters-in-law would put a record player. So we’ll be listening to the music, and he’ll be singing his lungs out. That was very painful.

I know it’s not easy to look after a patient with dementia, but we have to be a bit more humane than that. That is what I’m afraid, not that I will be treated that way, but I am afraid that if we do not come aware of this, we are going to treat our ancestors like that.

Thanks for listening.