Larry celebrates the joy of being alive, and how Dementia Diaries helps him to do just that.

This is a Dementia Diary from Larry Gardener, and I am calling from the Netherlands. The subject of my Dementia Diary is how necessary it is for our experiences to be made part of the public realm, partly because all humans at some point are going to be dead humans. and for those with dementia that might be sooner rather than later. I think it is important for the things that are in my head to come out of my head and to be passed on. The bits that I want to pass on are.. it’s a funny thing really, it’s about the dividing line between the past, the present and the future so, all of the things that happened in my past, no matter how regrettable they were, no matter how much I regret them, the things I didn’t do, they things I did do, the things that I shouldn’t have done. After the emotional charge that attaches to them has gone, they just remain as facts. In the past things that belong in the past can’t be changed in the present, and for the things that I have done wrong, all I can do is apologise and hopefully apologies in person to people who have been wronged by me.
And when I think about the future, that line that divides time in half is that the future is largely unknowable. I might be able to decide today something that I am going to do in a few days time, but beyond that the future is so unknowable and unpredictable that the longer term plans are quite difficult to make, especially when you’ve got dementia.
But the thing that is wonderful is, that in the present moment, all the power that I don’t have to change the past and all the power that I don’t have to very much influence the future, I can use in the present moment to enjoy being alive and I decided to live. I have decided I want a life worth living. I have decided I don’t want a long slow goodbye. I have decided that what is in my head needs to come out of my head and be passed on, so there are lots of things that I want to pass on, and Dementia Diaries if the most useful, practical and valuable way I have found to do it.