Gail says “Don’t try to make it right – live in the here and now”

Hi, it’s Gail. I thought I’d do a little diary on well, don’t try to make things right.

You can’t put life back to how it was when dementia is creeping in. Dementia will make so many changes but don’t be discouraged or downhearted, make the most of every day and just go with the flow. You can’t go back. You can’t make everything right. So just live in the here and now. Every day is going to be different.

I can’t imagine what it’s like to care for someone because I live with dementia, I’m not a carer.

I dare say it can be quite stressful and overwhelming, faced with many challenges especially, when all you want to do is make things better.

It’s also challenging and stressful to actually live with dementia because, our world feels like it’s been turned upside down sometimes and it takes time for us to adapt and adjust.

It’s tough for both parties, it’s tough for everyone involved but what you have to realise is, there’s no cure for dementia, so you can’t make things better because dementia’s terminal.

You have to be realistic and try and make things work for both of you. Go with the flow and embrace the journey with an open mind and it’s got to make things easier.

It’s no good arguing with someone that has dementia because you probably won’t win. When you think about it, what’s the point? All you’re doing is blowing the situation out of control and adding fuel to that disagreement by arguing. And you’re not weak for giving in, you are the clever one. You have just made your life a whole lot easier.

Things may not always go to plan as unexpected situations will arise and instead of resisting or becoming frustrated, try to go with the flow and adapt to the changing circumstances. Being flexible, well, that might be a better approach and it might bring a sense of calm and not stress.

Instead of worrying about the past or the future, try to focus on the moment and asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It can lighten your load and there’s nothing worse than feeling alone.

Stay connected with each other. Laugh together, cry together, you will get angry and you will get tired. Just try to go with the flow and create a more positive experience and cherish, every single moment because each moment is so special.

I’m no expert, but I do have lots of experience of living with dementia.

Thank you, take care, bye.