Tracey describes the anxiety of travelling somewhere you don’t know and the not very helpful staff direction

Hi It’s Tracey. I’m just going to say that on Saturday I went to Essex, Havering to do a talk. An Admiral Nurse wanted me to talk to her little group about living with dementia and how I cope and give them my views and coping strategies. I was trying not to think about it because it was a place I haven’t been to before. I’m much better with peace of mind to travel to places I have been and not think about it. But with a new place I really have to think about where I’m going. Even though I prepared quite a lot beforehand, I knew exactly where I needed to go, on the day it was a bit more complex. The train was quite busy being a Saturday and I had to go to Stansted International, and I knew that I had to walk to Stansted London. But I wasn’t too sure how I needed to get there, so I asked one of the officials and all she said to me was “go straight ahead, keep going and then it’s there”. So I clarified to her where I was meant to go and she said “yes, you go straight ahead”, pointed. And I don’t know whether we were looking in different places but I think we were in hindsight. And I did say to her “I have a bit of dementia”, but I think she thought that not that I have dementia but I was a bit forgetful, if that makes sense. So I went to where I thought she was pointing and I didn’t find anything I needed to know at all, and I started to have a panic attack, in a strange place somewhere in London, and I had no clue where I was and that was quite stressful for me. I get panic attacks quite often now if I’m in a place I don’t know. And I started having a panic attack, even with me breathing and trying not to cry because I didn’t know where I was going. So I asked somebody if they could steer me in the right direction thank goodness. I managed to find a security guard who are always good, and they always say can they help me very clearly and they are usually very kind. He gave me good directions that were easy for me to memorise. It wasn’t like rocket science for me to understand, if that makes sense. So I managed to find out where I needed to go and asked another station official which platform I needed to get to and after that it wasn’t too bad because the girls with me in Havering were at the train station and I felt quite relieved really. And the talk went well and Dr Carter was there, nice to see a familiar face as well. And then on the way back, one of the girls, OTs, travelled with me all the way up to Stanstead International and she made sure I got on the right train and I felt quite relieved how kind people are. I felt like I could probably have pushed through it on my own, but she very kindly came with me and got me on the right train and I felt better coming home. And I was quite relieved to get home really. I just thought that for me its good to push myself even though it was somewhere different. Now if I go there again I’ll know where to go. I don’t have to worry about anything. Anyway, I hope you have a good day, bye now.