Use the strategies that have served you well in the past allied to those which might be new to you, which others who really care might have offered you, for in that way you have an even greater chance of living as well as possible.

Dear Keith,
I’ve been wanting to write to you for some time, and following a prompt from a mutual friend, I feel the time is right to express some thoughts which I hope you will find helpful.
I feel I’ve known you for a very long time, indeed for most, or all of your life, and whilst I am sure that the last few years have been very challenging I know you well enough to know that the Keith that I and others really know does still remain. For some people, showing sincerity, compassion and thoughtful kind words and actions for others is hard. In your case, through your personality and experience, these come more easily.
Conversely, you have at times resisted and not recognised the need to be the recipient, but this should now, I feel change. I’ve mentioned that I’ve known you since your childhood, I saw you as a sensitive, quiet, single child who did quite well at school and enjoyed the company of a range of friends.
You always came to the aid of friends, at times stepping in when you thought this was required, thinking you could help someone who needed help. I wonder if others did the same for you. I think you have not always sought from others what you readily gave to them. Now is the time to refill some of your reservoir of compassion.
I know that at times you have felt let down. Maybe this is true. But at others, watching on, I can say that this has not always been the case, but has been your perception of the situation. I recognise that adjusting to seeing the world through different eyes can be difficult for anyone, including you, but do continue to seek the positives within the challenges you’re been facing at the time.
Do carry on thinking about the positives, round what you describe as the balance scales between the cognitive and the emotional by way of engagement with others and the way you see yourself. I’m not going to patronise you or minimise your very real fears by saying don’t be scared, but do try and draw on your inner strength from your innate ability to manage this.
Only you and I know how it is for you. You conceal the inner impact of your difficulties with a mask and coping strategies that you have, and are continuing to develop will protect you and enable you to remain engaged with others. Consequently, there are times when others don’t know what to look for, or what to ask in order to help you. You and I know this is especially the case when dementia makes the most mischief. Please take from this letter the key message to live in the moment, to not to judge yourself too harshly and to try to see in yourself the Keith who is seen by others, both close to you and those who pass by briefly.
Use the strategies that have served you well in the past allied to those which might be new to you, which others who really care might have offered you, for in that way you have an even greater chance of living as well as possible.
Until next time, goodbye.
Myself