The picture of my dad pointing a tea pot spout to a armed German Policeman will remain etched in my memory for ever dementia or not.

The German

Many years ago when I was about ten years old, my mum and dad took us on a holiday every year, but this one year we were going on the continent, to a friend of my dad who lived in Germany.

We set off with me and my sister Viv sat in the back of our little Morris eight car,

We went from Dover to Calais on the ferry and drove into Germany, now in them days Britain didn’t have any motorways, but the Germans did, and they were called autobahns.

Autobahns were unbelievable, dead straight, no speed restrictions and we tootled along at sixty and all the other vehicles overtook us.

Now in Germany when you overtook a car you beeped your horn, not just a little toot toot, it was a long blast on your horn as you overtook. This used to rattle my dad no end, ‘why do they do that every time something overtakes us,?’

We’d been travelling a good few hours when my mum suggested we stop and have a brew.

My dad saw a grassy patch at the side of the autobahn and pulled in

We all piled out, my mum put a blanket down and two chairs and my dad got his petrol primus stove out he had rescued from a tank in the war.

I must say that I have that stove right here in my house, and it still works, Margaret has some difficulty in cooking dinner sometimes, but she likes a challenge.

Anyway there we were at the side of the autobahn, and dozens of cars passed us all beeping their horns and waving.

‘Aren’t they friendly these Germans’, I said

My dad grunted ‘not in 1940 they weren’t’

My mum opened a box full of sandwiches and my dad put water into the kettle. He was holding the tea pot ready to put the tea leaves in, note the were no tea bags in them days.

We’d been there for about fifteen minutes when a car pulled up behind us.

It had blue light on its roof.

It was painted green and white.

A man got out wearing a green uniform, he had a gun strapped to his waist belt.

What followed next was a cross between ‘Allo Allo’ and ‘Dads Army’.

‘Vot are you doing’ he shouted

‘Oh hello’ my mum said, ‘would you like a cup of tea?’

‘No I do vant a cup of tea I want you to go it is forbidden to stop here, you are on a autobahn’

‘You must pack up and go now’

My dad was still holding the tea pot, he pointed the spout towards the officer. I’m sure he thought it was a weapon.

My mum was hurrying packing all the picnic stuff away

The officer continued ‘come on come on you must hurry it is very dangerous, and it is forbidden to stop here,’

‘we’re from England’ my mum shouted from the back of our car.’

‘yeas I know were you are from and I have the details of your car number;’

I was watching this and saw my dad square up to this official, but a tea pot was no match for an automatic lugar.

He packed the hot stove into the boot and we were on our way.

‘Why didn’t you hit him with the tea pot dad’ I said.

I was gonna remind him I was here in a tank a few years ago liberating his country, but its best not to mention the war to these sort of people.’

However the picture of my dad pointing a tea pot spout to a armed German Policeman will remain etched in my memory for ever dementia or not.