Margaret has a Birthday, Stockport Precinct and a man with purple hair!

Hello its Steve Clifford

In Stockport precinct the other day Margaret had nipped into a shop leaving me outside, it was her birthday next week and I needed to buy her something, something special something she wanted and would treasure , something she would remember it was from me,

I was stood outside the works, and there in the window in a huge display was the answer to my dilemma.

I went inside and said to the man behind the counter,
I want one of those please, I nodded towards the window display,
what colour would you like, he asked,
I thought for a moment, green I said.
He went and got one.
Can you gift wrap it I asked, with bubble wrap, I added
He looked at me ,
Its a bingo dabber he said.
I knew what it was ….he didn’t have to say
Yes I know its my wives birthday, I said.
Big spender eh
His attempt at sarcasm was lost on me
oh better check it works I said, before you wrap it up, and I unscrewed the ball cap and dabbed the back of my hand, which prodded an instant round fluorescent green dot
brilliant
I’ll take it I said
Just the one ?
Again his sarcasm faded into insignificance at my exhilaration.

he put the bubble wrap around my gift, Margaret loves bubble wrap and sometimes sits for hours in her green house just popping the bubbles, she will be so pleased.

I skipped out of the shop.
That was a bit of an exaggeration because the last time I skipped was when I was four.

as a got out of the shop I was aware of a person walking towards me, I didn’t know if it was male or female, I mean you don’t these days do you, the person had bright purple spiky hair you know like the statue of liberty, the person was on a mobile phone help to its ear with a big red glove.

As the person got next to me I said, I like your hair.
The person snarled ….you taking the…..his next word was drowned out by an emirates jumbo as it roared overhead to land at Manchester airport.

By the tone of the voice I deduced it was a male, the beard also enhanced my conclusion, although it could have been a furry female with a cold.

He had really slitty eyes and bits of food dropped from his beard onto the pavement which were eagerly pecked up by numerous pigeons which seemed to be following him

what’s your game he snarled again and his slitty eyes got even slittier.
Give me some money he demanded and he grabbed my hand.

The only thing I had was a Macdonald’s voucher for a big mac I had found the other day, and that was going to be Margaret’s birthday surprise dinner, so there was no way he was going to get that.

I cant, I said
why not

I’ve got dementia I said, ….it seemed a good reply to make.

dementia he questioned, what’s that. he seemed to be panicking
Is it catching?

do I tell him the truth.
Yes I said
He let go of my hand jumped back and screamed.

What’s the symptoms he shouted,

I said, you get little green spots, and I showed him the back of my hand the bright green dot fluorescing significantly.

he screamed again and began to run away

Margaret came out of the shop and told me she had been speaking to a friend, everything all right she asked

I told her everything was fine.

what was wrong with him, nodding towards the disappearing spiky haired bearded slitty eyed man running through the precinct.

He thinks he’s got dementia I said.

we need to help him she said.

what we did in my next report.